On Finals and Break

As I enter into finals week, and the last Friday of real classes of the semester I have time to reflect.  I found I cannot live without horses and riding.  I found I love learning when humor is involved and actively discussing issues that are morally and ethically relevant.  I miss taking photos, and plan on double majoring in wildlife biology and photojournalism.  Writing has become a necessary tool in forming my ideas and letting out my frustrations.

The week before I left for Missoula I had so many doubts about surviving and the “Northern Texas” has proven that it has challenges.  Many of them intellectual mountains more than literal.  I thought I was an open person until I came here and discovered I was just non-confrontational.  I still have issues seeing all sides of a situation, but that is true learning, and will never come easy.

Fall semester has gone by so fast and I don’t necessarily feel like it was wasted.  I learned to smile at everyone that walks by, the worst thing they can do is think you’re insane, which probably wouldn't be too far off.  Saying hello and introducing yourself isn’t weird, and we should all do it more often.  Also, writing postcards and letters is fun, not that anyone could read my handwriting but that isn’t really new.  Keyboards are wonderful little inventions and when we have to write with a stylus on the computer screen I might object loudly, but I digress.  I’ve met many new people and connected more in the last two weeks and I’m actually sad I won’t get to see them for 5 weeks.  It’s almost a step back, but knowing they will be here when I get back is weird too.  I wonder if it will feel like I missed five weeks in Missoula.  It’s “Vacation” isn’t it?  Does this mean that I’m not really going home?  I have yet to determine this. 

I keep playing that moment I’ll descend down the escalator to see my family.  It then becomes too melodramatic.  I wish I could pack today and it all be set.  I’m not even sure I’ll make it through the airports alone.  Missoula will be fine, but Minneapolis will be a scary excursion.  I’ll have to identify the alphabet with directional arrows and that can’t be a good sign.  At least it’s not Detroit and every sign is followed with descriptions in Japanese and Chinese that beg you to decipher them.

I don’t know how it’ll go.  I don’t know if I have much more energy to write more.  I have more thoughts to get down before I leave.  I’ll visit them tomorrow.  For now, I should go focus my attention on missing Bones episodes and my music.

Volume on High.